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Why would you want mixed RKE versions inside your cluster...?

No we don't want them, I meant the possibility to somehow control the upgrade flow other than the max unavailable worker/controlplane settings. For example pausing the process after each node has been upgraded, or something along that line, in order to do specific checks or activities on applications during the upgrade

I believe defining upgradeStrategy is the only option: https://rke.docs.rancher.com/upgrades/configuring-strategy

Ok, and is it possible to update the nodes NOT through Rancher for RKE custom clusters created using the docker command that the Rancher web ui gives you? I don't know maybe some manual commands/steps to perform on each node, probably not, but I'll ask anyway.

You can use the system-upgrade-controller: https://github.com/rancher/system-upgrade-controller/