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If you’ve got enough etcd/control plane nodes - what usually does it for me is restarting the etcd nodes you are keeping. Be sure you have at least 1 and preferably 3 good etcd nodes though - otherwise you could put your cluster in an irrecoverable state.

When you say restart, do you mean a VM reboot? If yes, then I tried that one thanks (have you tried turning it off and on again 🙂 ) But thanks.... Ya it seems this is something that gets stuck at some point, and if I check the vcenter logs I don't even see any logins from my rancher account to try and delete, so it's all still internal it would seem.